One of those movie type embarrassments....

So I have never been the type of girl that was blessed with that awesome flawless gracefulness. Basically I hated playing dodgeball because I was the one that would get hit in the face with the ball. In school I would have those awkward moments that I always step in gum, or slipped in ice, or spilled a drink down my shirt. I even sat in dog fecal matter in the park on a field trip, setting the rest of the trip up for me waiting in misery for it to be over. I just have that anti luck charm about me. I am a terrible for Vegas tables, the further away I stand, the more money you will win. Lets just say, that I live an interesting live, and all the humiliations that were gifted to me have seasoned me for the ultimate embarrassing moment I have experienced in my life thus far....

I am spending a quality day with my best friend. We are running errands in the company of one another. I am looking to buy a new car, so we go out and test drive a Prius, then head to the automotive shop for items to clean my own car, and then we head to our friends reptile store. We get to the snake shop, and are just engaged with all the cool new snakes and lizards they have on display. We are playing with the gigantic freely running iguana, and make our way over to the wall of baby snakes. This is a wall with small tanks stacked on top of each other up to the ceiling. We lock eyesight on this tiny baby rainbow boa, and both of us bend over to peer into the tank. This bending action that I took place in, requires basically a full 90 degree bend at the hips for me to easily see into the tank. Jeremiah, our friend and owner of this store walks into the room, and casually asks me, "hey, uhhhh, did you know you have a rip in your shorts?" Let me repeat this is as I am fully bent over peering into the tanks. I stand up, reply "no," and begin to guide my hands to the back of my shorts to better understand what he is speaking of. I am expecting to have a tear, maybe it got caught on a nail and snagged type of tear. To my shocking surprise I feel a completely bare asses, entire length, crack of my butt.

 Now I think butt cracks are absolutely hilarious. When I see them hanging out of peoples pants, I always wish I could sneak a photo and instagram that hilarious sight. This was was no exception. I laughed so hard I was crying, half out of obvious embarrassment, and half because I was so happy to have witnessed such an epic ass tear, even if it was at the expense of my own dignity.

Now here it is, the photo you have been waiting for. It would have been selfish of me to not take a photo for all of the rest of the virtual world to experience laughter at this perfect set up of humiliation.

Now first things first, you may look at the photo and ask "how did I not feel this" Well that my friends is left to one of those strange un-answerable mysteries of the universe. I ask myself the exact same question. I don't know how I was able to one, not feel this start ripping apart, and two, not feel a cool breeze. It was an incredibly hot day, so maybe subconsciously my body was just feeling cooler, so disregarded and said breezes I should have been feeling.

The other horrible part to this is I really have no idea how long I was sporting this ass-less short look. Test driving cars, automotive shop, really have no idea. Those were brand new shorts, and the first time I had worn them... I really loved those shorts....